CAN WE TALK?

Luke 11: 1-13

July 29, 2001

It shouldn’t amaze me, but it does. It is only natural, but the process is fascinating. We learn so much by observing others. We learn to talk by listening to parents and siblings; we learn table manners (or lack of them) by those influential people in our lives while we were growing up. I learned the social skills of talking with people by observing my father as he visited with strangers. I observed the way my father and mother interacted, and I so learned how husband and wife relate. I observed the love they had for each other and how they expressed it and so I learned how to express love to Kathy. The social skills of my parents became my habits; and as an adult I decided whether to make them my own or to choose other ones.

One of the things I learned from my parents was how to pray. From the time I was born I have been wrapped in the warm comfort of prayer. Being fed by my mother as an infant, she prayed over me. Before I could say words, I learned to bow my head and fold my hands and listen to my father or mother or sister say a prayer at every meal. In worship services and in Sunday School and VBS and church camps I heard ministers and teachers and counselors say prayers and they gave us opportunities for us to try our voice. It was awkward to begin with; you are talking to God!

I also recognize that this is not the experience of everyone. Prayer and church may not have been a part of your family life growing up. Prayer, especially praying out loud, may be the last thing we want to do; we may feel that we aren’t doing it right or that others will laugh at us. There may be some kind of formula to be used and if we don’t use that formula then God will be offended or we will embarrass ourselves.

The disciples of Jesus came up to him and said, one day, "Lord, teach us to pray as John taught his disciples." They knew how to pray, but It was the custom of that day for a teacher to give to his students a sample prayer as a model by which to pray. Different teachers might emphasize certain things. What we call the Lord’s Prayer was Jesus’ sample prayer that he gave his disciples by which he taught the basic elements of praying to God. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus’ ministry is wrapped in prayer. At his baptism, Jesus prayed; he spent 40 days in the wilderness in prayer; before choosing the 12 disciples he prayed, before his first prophesy of the passion, he prayed. At the transfiguration Jesus is found praying. There were nights when he prayed alone all night. The disciples had observed Jesus on frequent occasions praying; they wanted to know how to pray. "Jesus, teach us to pray."

Do you remember a few years ago the comedian, Joan Rivers, who had that line she used, "Can we talk?" By this line she was saying, "Can we cut out all the niceties and get down to the real stuff?" Prayer is conversation with God in which we can be fully honest about what we are thinking and feeling. When I am talking with youth about prayer, I encourage them to talk with God like they would a close friend; important stuff gets done over the phone. If God truly does know our hearts and minds better than we know ourselves, then who are we to fool God with words that are not fully honest. Too often we flower up our language to make it pretty to the point that we miss the purpose of prayer to begin with.

And if God does know our inner thoughts and needs before we ask, then we don’t need to beat around the bush. "Can we talk?" The purpose of prayer is not to tell God anything new, but for us to verbalize, state and claim our deepest thoughts. There is something very powerful in stating in words what we have only dared to think in the corners of our mind. The power of prayer is in our being fully honest with God about where we are – our fears, our needs, our pains, our joys. Admit your fears; admit your anger! Be honest in your needs. It is all about changing us.

As the language that Jesus used implies, we go to God in prayer like a child to his father or mother asking for a drink of water or a hug or help tying a shoe or protection from the boogieman that scares us in the dark. We go to one who is greater than us and who is able to supply our needs, comfort us in our fears and protest us against evil. And God sees the bigger picture, understands the dynamics involved and helps us with what we need more than what we want.

"Mom, can I have a cookie? I’m hungry!" My mother replied, "Not now, dear, we are having supper in just a half an hour. Here; I’m fixing carrot sticks, why not have a couple." Jesus recognized that a part of prayer is asking things of God. He tells the parable of the neighbor, who at midnight, pounds on his neighbor’s door asking for bread because of unexpected company. The one in need is embarrassed because he was not prepared, but persistent in asking for help. Every see a child throw a temper tantrum in order to get what he wants? Jesus goes on to encourage us to ask, seek and knock and those who pursue will receive. Jesus didn’t say that they would receive what they asked for but they would receive what God has to offer. And the point of the parable is not that we are to keep knocking on God’s door until we wear God down and get what we want. What Jesus is saying is that God has much to offer us, and God is not like the neighbor. God is ready to give freely and willingly. God has much to offer! Are we asking for God wants to give?

One thing that really bothers me about some prayers is that they are often very selfish. "God, I want this; God, I want that. God, please do this for me." It is as if we are ordering God around to do our bidding like God were our personal slave or genie in a bottle ready to do whatever we ask. The Hebrew children wandered in the wilderness for 40 years eating what God provided. It was not what they wanted, but what was needed. And God provided. Spiritual maturity shows up in our prayers in the way we ask and for what we ask. An example of this is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane when he prayed that he not have to go through the pain of death; but he ended by saying, "Thy will be done."

One commentary put it this way, "We speak many words, or the same words over and over again, not because they are needed to persuade, but because we are seeking to overcome our own pride, selfishness or indifference. We agonize to get free of the bondage to our own wills, which keeps us from really praying. The struggle in prayer, then, is not our struggle with God, but God’s struggle with us. It is God’s hand that will not let us go."

My spiritual life was opened to a big learning this week about this passage, prayer and God. Because I so strongly dislike people who pray for selfish things, I closed myself off to an important learning. The learning for me is that God wants us to ask, to seek and to knock – not for anything we want which might be nice to have, but to ask and seek for that which God wants to give us. And we limit the power and presence of God in our lives if we don’t ask.

God wants to bless us; but it may not be the blessing we had in mind. God has much to offer us, but we must be in a spiritual state ready to receive it. Instead of telling God what we believe would be best for us, prayer is opening ourselves to the gifts that God has that are best for us, or what God wants us to do. I guess I have been afraid to ask because I didn’t want to appear selfish or greedy or ask for the wrong thing. The question I have been raising in my heart this week has been: Is there more that God wants to give me and is waiting for me to ask? Is there something that God is ready to give me that will honor him and serve him? Is there more that God wants to give Englewood Christian Church but we have yet to ask? Not for our glory, not for the preservation of Englewood Christian, but for the glory of God in Jesus Christ?

Are we ready and willing to act when God gives? Are we willing to ask for God’s gifts? God’s blessing? God’s direction? Jesus told us to ask, to seek, to knock; because God has good gifts to give to those who ask.

"Dad, can we talk? I need some help." My dad replied, "I was wondering when you would be ready; I’ve been waiting for you. Come, let’s take a walk together."